picture frame

i am at peace now more than i have ever been. my life is almost at a stand still its so satisfying. i felt picture frame was a perfect title for this entry, because if there was ever a period of my life i would want captured in a photograph forever, it would be now.

i have met the love of my life. yes, its soon. and yes, i'm young. but i witnessed love first hand at the wedding of two of my very close friends (congrats again adrianna and tyler mcgeehan!) and they are no older than i. they always say "when you know, you know." well, i know. i know that melissa is the girl i've always dreamed of, but never thought existed. the girl my heart has wanted and needed for all my life. not to get all gushy and lovestruck, but i doubt i'll be with any other girl, regardless of what happens to us. no one else will suffice.

my grandfather a few years ago asked me a strange question that it has suddenly donned on my as logical. he posed the question "when a picture or file is deleted from a computer, or the internet or wherever, is it gone forever?" he asked me specifically, feeling that i being the youngest adult in the family, could answer the question maturely and truthfully. but i failed miserably and blabbered my way through the conversation, confused and slightly annoyed by his antique thought process.

but now, at this very moment, i see it clear as day. the answer to the question is undoubtedly no. those pictures, deleted or not, will forever exist, because they are in us, and we are in them. the memories of those moments, visible in a picture or not, will never leave us. they may be logged in the very corners of our brains for many years, but one little molecule can spark a spring of memories. a simple scent can reignite images of some magical evening, or a single word can bring vivid detail to a long lost conversation of laughter and joy. i hope all who read this will someday smell that scent, or hear that word, and remember a once treasured memory.

i now sit and ponder if my grandfather, the only person wiser than my actual father, meant this question in such a deep and arcane way? no doubt he desired more than a confused and mundane answer like the one i gave him.

after an amazing weekend with the love of my life, i formed memories i will never forget. there is a connection between us i have never felt with anyone in my life, and i'm addicted to it. she has the power to shatter me to pieces with her smile. i joked and teased melissa because we spent 4 days without leaving each others side, and yet we had only a handful of pictures. she always pulls my leg because often times i can't even remember what i had for breakfast my memory is so  bad. but i know without a doubt, i will never forget the time we spent together.

i believe i've talked about memories before, but up until this point, i feel like all my memories are dull in comparison to her. i've never been flooded with such love and happiness, and to see me know, you would see it glowing from me. friends and family give thanks for my long awaited satisfaction, and so do i.

don't ever forget those who love you. they are all we have in this world when it comes down to it. no amount of money or hard work can ever bring you the pure euphoria that someone special can. and in the end, when you take your last breath, to paraphrase "meet joe black"...

...i hope you have some beautiful pictures to take with you to the other side.